Tonight I said F**k it! I decided to ignore the stress,
forget about all the tears shed these past two weeks, not think about anything
past this moment and just F**k it. I went out and competed with 3 other schools
in a school spirit/cheering/shopping/dancing contest. I have no idea who won –
the last I knew we were tied and needed one more win for the win. Who knows ...
I’m far too exhausted to find out tonight. I wasn't going to go. I was hunkered down with
a pile of textbooks and fighting not to fall into a much needed sleep. This
flu/cold (whatever the hell it is I have) wasn't helping the staying awake
part. Then they came. They pounded on my door. They told me to put on my school
shirt and to come! I stared at them
for about 10 seconds, while they looked on in silence, then I said, “F**k it.”
As overly exhausted as I was, I went and pushed out every ounce of energy I didn't have.
Just when I thought I was going to drop and not be able to
move another inch tonight ... I started to dance. That’s right. I said dance.
YEAH BUDDY! I danced in the frickin’ rain tonight. For hours! With green paint on my face! And for one
moment in these past 13 days of constant torment, I forgot about the crap. And
it doesn’t matter I did no work tonight. Come tomorrow it might matter, but for
tonight it doesn’t. I’m going to go to bed not feeling overwhelmed and teary
eyed and I’m going to wake up and face tomorrow ... just tomorrow. Not the rest
of the week, not the rest of the month, not the rest or this term, and
certainly not the rest of these next three years – just, tomorrow.
I'm sitting here at my desk, thinking about how overwhelmed I am and wondering just how and if I am going to be able to get through this, when I look up and see this lovely
