THE NEXT ADVENTURE!!

I am happy to announce that I declare my 12 year imprisonment within the wet, stone walls of the forestry will soon come to an end ... FINALLY!

Yes ... it is that time again. Time to pack my handy traveling bag and wait for 'them' to speak to me and say, "It's time to go." It has to be an unplanned moment, a spontaneous decision. Why? Maybe because I scare easily (which is kinda funny if you consider some of the things I have faced and survived). Or maybe it's just the trill of the unknown being thrown at you from all directions. Who knows ... what I do know is I have to go ... and soon. The last of my humanity (wait was there any left?) is being murdered the longer I stay here. And whatever is left of my soul is being sucked dry. So talking with S at work, I have come to the conclusion that 'it is time to go'. S pointed out a very interesting thing to me. I have been putting my life on hold for others; whenever anyone calls, I run to them. But S pointed out, "You don't always have to catch the ball." So I got thinking ... what if I already caught the ball and have been clutching it tightly for a while? ... is it still okay to blatantly turn my hand over, release my fingers and let it fall?

YES! A resounding yes screamed at me. So I am dropping the ball. WOO!

Have I told work? No. But I don't know myself when I am leaving. And for now they are not to know. But this time will be different then the others. Well, every time is always different ... but then again always the same. The thing is, I pack a bag, jump on a plane, boat, or bus and go. The length, city, country, continent varies, but in the end I always come back. So this time I am doing something I have forbade myself to do .... I am making a plan. But an open plan.

My plan is thus: I will not return.

I don't mean I won't ever visit, cause I will. But for all intent and purposes I am leaving to find a home this time. I am leaving the home I have (well don't really have one, but I will call it my home), and putting it behind me to look for something that I have not found yet. Does this mean G is settling down? HELL NO! But I will be finding a new place that I will always be returning to from now on.

The hardest part (as much as I love my gypsy-ing ways) will be to not return to this place. The Hellmouth was opened beneath me here, and it always calls me back. No matter how hard I fight it, it pulls me back. So I know I have a huge battle before me, but I am determined to win. And just maybe, once I separate myself from this newly-turned hell dimension, I will be able to return at least a part of my humanity back to the surface. OH! Don't worry for those who love me as I am ... I promise to stay evil! Otherwise all that good upbringing my Papa Bug gave to me would be worth nothing ... after all he helped me to be the evil I was meant to. Thanks Papa Bug!

So for now, stay turned. You will learn what is to come when I do. Let's hear it for walking blindly into the night. I'd go in the day, but the sun tends to hurt my demon eyes. (D&A know what I speak of lol.)

Killing again

I killed again today. It might not have been the biggest thing I battled, but damn it was one of the ugliest! It was AWFUL! It was big, don’t get me wrong. It had eight legs, black with white markings and pincers that reached out into infinity! ..... Now all I can see of it is its twisted legs reaching out from under what I crushed it with. It wasn’t an easy kill. I had major chills for quite a while afterward.

Less violent areas of my life … well … I am half way done making my Amazon Fighting Stick for my Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I think I will get a really good grade/points for this project. It had already taken me about 16 hours of blood, sweat and tears … okay no sweat or tears … but that doesn’t make it any less hard. And let me tell you PAINFUL! It is killing my fingers. I am also needed to stock up on more items … band-aids to be specific.

Today I have decided to skip all classes and just goof-off. WOO!

What else did I do over the long weekend? Other than mastering the usage of large double pointed needles (four at a time thank you very much) not much else – that includes sleep (it's only 38 this time ... so far). I actually don’t do that anymore(sleep much) … why? Well as my dad says, “So you have finally stopped trying to hide the fact that you are not human.” .... I had no argument for him.

And yes if you are wondering, I still have to avert my demon eyes to the bright sunshine … something my father also noticed many many years ago.

Knitting

Okay so I am now all signed up for classes and for two of them I have to make a 5 foot Amazon Fighting Staff and a Magic Seeing Mirror. For this I have to use two techniques that I have never done before. Dpns ... dangerous tools with sharp points, and a blocking spell. I am off to the Alley to buy my supplies. I will posts pictures as I go ... if they aren't too disastrous.

Handles

So I have been spending a good deal of my energy trying to come up with an online name. For years I used Usako-san (Japanese) and then I went to Beyby and sometimes BeybyGyrl – which I spent more time with the two. I was thinking instead of coming up with something new maybe I should just fall back onto what I already had. But then I thought if I am doing that why not go back to my first handle: O’Henry – wow that was when my chatroom was just a black screen with different colored fonts … wait did they even have different colors? And then I mainly only talked to the people I already talked with at school anyways. But wait … there aren’t all good memories associated with that handle … so lets move on a bit further … that would take me to university – and Gak comes into the picture (Gak brings forth no bad memories either). This was created in a small first floor computer lab in Head Hall with very slow computers, by a mistake (and we all know the story to my life is mistakes, some bad, more good, gotta love the mistakes – I have learned to embrace them). So that is it. I may go back to Gak. Any thoughts?